How to Kill a Division

How to Kill a Division
August 1, 2014 Chris Rowland

By TTT Subscriber Ben Feltham.

You can think it in your head – briefly – but do not, under any circumstances, say it out loud.

Liverpool Football Club are hatching a plot to take over the football world.

It used to be the Boot Room where the plotters would gather to kill a division. It’s probably done on conference calls now, but the aim seems to be the same. I should use metaphor and allegory to communicate the import of this article, but I think instead it would be quicker to make a list:

Done/Proposed Transfers:

Emre Can 12/1/94 – 20 years old

Lazar Markovic 2/3/94 – 20

Divock Origi 18/4/95 – 19

Alberto Moreno 5/792 – 22

Javier Manquillo 5/5/94 – 20

Potential Squad member for 2014/15 Season:

Raheem Sterling 8/12/94 – 19

Phillipé Coutinho 12/6/92 – 22

Jordan Ibe 8/12/95 – 18

Tiago Ilori 26/2/93 – 21

Suso – 19/11/93 – 20

In years to come they may well call this the ‘Windfall Window’. Through the conspiracy of fate and intention – the guarantee of Champions League qualification, a massive TV deal and the sale of Luis Suarez – we have managed to accumulate a distasteful amount of money, with which, on the face of it, we are using to try and win the league.

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