The Secret Pundit Takes on the Commentators Part 5: “He Can Do That.”

The Secret Pundit Takes on the Commentators Part 5: “He Can Do That.”
September 26, 2017 Chris Rowland

By our Secret Correspondent P. Dantic.

That’s a fashionable phrase with the commentators now. The main commentator tells us that someone has just done something, and then the co-commentator tells him ‘He can do that’.

They don’t say it every time the lead commentator says someone has done just any old thing. Obviously not. That would require the companion-commentator to say ‘They can do that’ after every single individual action described by the number-one-commentator during the whole entire game. It would create a steady Motorik beat of ‘He can do that’, ‘He can do that’, ‘He can do that’, ‘He can do that’, ‘He can do that’, ‘He can do that’. Like a train going clickety-clickety-clack down the trickety-trickety-track. Occasionally speeding up, sometimes slowing down, as it follows the building and releasing of tension in the principal-commentator’s improvised descriptions of events, like some style of football themed acapella word jazz. He can do that. It’s possible. I think we’d all agree though that this would not be making the best use of the commentating-lieutenant’s time and apparent skill set.

If you listen carefully you’ll notice the sidekick-commentator saves ‘He can do that’ for when the commentator-in-chief has described someone doing something out of the ordinary. Something exceptional.

The rest of this intelligent and measured rant is for Subscribers’ eyes only.